He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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