Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
