Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Michael Bay diarrhea
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
