a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Shame - the story of my life.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
