What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
