woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I can't turn off my feet"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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