if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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