my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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