I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
