Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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