Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
