the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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