i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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