who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
