she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
