Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
