did you get engaged???
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
