Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
