That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
