Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
