If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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