The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
