4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
