new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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