...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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