Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
