I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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