Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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