My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
