i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
