She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
