Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I need moral support for this bender
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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