she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
