if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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