Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
