she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
