what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
