Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
