i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
