Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
