someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
