I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
