is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My feet surprised me
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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