She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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