He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
