Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
