You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
