Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
