how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
