question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
